Effective immediately, Kaze the Kitten will serving be my personal secretary.

Her weekly salary will be 30 SCL (Standard Catnip Leaves) / hour with full benefits including Yogurt Lids, Fuzzy Balls, and Ear Scratchies.

Oh, don’t look at me like that. She’s a great office assistant! Not only does she know where the degauss button is on my monitor, she knows how to operate my speakers, cable modem, printer, and VoIP terminal. She’s quickly learning how to use the mouse and is an excellent typist. (I just need to figure out what language she’s typing in! Silly Me! I need to get bilingual.)

Oh, yes… Did I mention she has great taste in MP3s?

Kaze also seems to have an ever-expanding interest in PHP and HTML; she watches me work for hours at a time. I better watch out though, it’s always the cute ones who wreak havoc.

That might explain the odd things my computer might be doing. Clever girl, perhaps she’s installed a Key-Logger Program on my machine. Must be clever indeed, if my Spyware programs and HijackThis! have turned nothing up. I mean, gawd, she’s a mean little sucker when it’s time for me to stop for the day. She’ll freeze my computer up! That has to be proof in and of itself that she’s really a hacker in disguise. Thinking on it, I honestly am coming to believe that this kitten is probably too sophisticated to rely on any programs to do her dirty work.

Then again, if she’s turning into a little hacker on me, maybe I can have her overclock my system for me. Might be fun if I can ever get my machine back to gaming status too. She’s decent enough on my PlayStation that I can bet we could really do some damage on a good PC game. Hmmm…. possibilities.

I just have to watch out for shredded cables and I think I’ll be all set.