[mood : puzzled]

Well, if I had to have any dilemmas, I suppose these are the best to have.

I was talking with my friend Jodi, whose a registered nurse. I’ve known her for some 19 years and I graduated from high school with her eldest son, who is one of Sally’s and my best friends. Of those ninteen years, she’s spent the last 13 of those constantly in college. As a nurse, she has to pretty much keep going to school the whole time so I trust her knowledge.

According to her, since I’m on Medicaid, I’m almost assured to be able to get financial aid to pay for college. In fact, it’s highly likely I’ll be able to get another Pell Grant to pay for it like I was able to get when I went to college the first time.

However, I need a job. Mom, even with the job she starts on March 1st, won’t be able to keep us afloat without at least one other of us working. Frankly, I want need a car again… I gave it up when I moved up to Mt. Pleasant because the insurance was killing me. I can’t stand living without that freedom anymore.

So this brings me to an interesting dilemma: Do I get a job and risk having trouble getting funding OR do I remain unemployed and have the funding almost guaranteed? I wasn’t really clear on how it worked the first time and I don’t remember what little I did understand.

I have never wanted anything so badly as I want this Web Development degree. I was rather lackluster the first time when I was preparing to go to college. To be honest, I was burnt out from High School and the last thing on my mind was more school. But I went anyway and failed miserably. Now, years later, I’ve found something I’m passionate about. I want this, but I’m also realistic enough to know I blew my chance at being able concentrate solely on college.

All my IRL friends and family have listened to me and advised me to go for it.

Which brings me to a new dilemma. Sally bought this computer in October 1999 for a steal with the sole purpose of being able to join Theresa in EverQuest. Now this beast is a dinosaur and in order to even attempt this online course I need a new machine. And to say I’m on a budget is the understatement of the century. Which in and of itself, almost necessitates I get a job, which brings me back to the first dilemma. XD

I suppose what I need to do is call Jodi back and have a longer talk when she isn’t being pulled in so many different directions. I should probably call Poppa too and ask him for his advice. If any of you have any advice, I’d love to hear it, please. =)

Day 1 without message boards. I ended up caving in and logging onto Arise long enough to post a link for Cora and then give a quick, eight character response when she thanked me.

In disgust I removed the toolbar links to Arise, BL, and DDG and replaced when with links to my favorite web-comics. Since I reflexively visit them several times a day anyway but never post in their forums, they seemed to be the perfect replacement.

And I haven’t been back yet. =) I just keep visiting my comics even more obsessively! XD

I know I just could have switched my old LJ over to friends only, but I wanted a fresh start with something 100% private. Once everyone I’ve friended checks back and friends me back, I’m even changing my displayed name on this thing so there’s nothing overtly “Jasson” left. I haven’t decided about changing the name of Anachronous’ link, most I might do is find a free redirect URL and just call it “main blog.” But the emphasis is on “might.”

Nothing yet on the job front. *sighs* I’m beginning to loose faith I ever will. Still waiting on Mom’s. We found out today that it usually takes them 10 days to get the results of a stupid drug test back. Rent’s not getting any less overdue, bills are not retreating, and the tension is mounting daily. Did a bit of pavement pounding today, but gave up pretty quick as everywhere I checked wasn’t hiring…. my morale was just too low to keep going. If they’re accepting applications, they’re stockpiling them for later when they might need someone. So… tomorrow, bright and early, we’re calling the Family Independence Agency for help and sticking around home so they can eventually call us back. Steve and Kathy might be really nice landlords, but they’re running a business. Eventually they will demand their rent money.

We’re beginning to wonder if it isn’t time to consider moving out of Michigan within the next few years. Michigan is second to last on the government’s list of job growth and has a very high, state-wide unemployment rate. We have family in the Yuma, AZ and Wichita Falls, TX areas… and Poppa’s beginning to talk about moving back out to Arizona once Caroline’s parents pass away. From the way he’s talking, though, he wants to go to the Tombstone area. Dunno if I’m going to follow suit, but from the way Sally’s talking she’ll probably do it. Granholm and the current MI government really aren’t doing shit to help the state in any way, in my opinion. I know it’s too soon to start talking about moving again now, but if things don’t improve in a few years, I don’t want to stay either.

I just asked for information from Baker College Online. They’re a local university and they’re offering an online course for a Bachelors in Web Development and an Associates in Web Design. They’re pretty cheap as far as online schools go, but it’d be worth it if I didn’t have to deal with college scene again. Up at CMU, I don’t think I completed many of my math or computer classes without some nimrod pulling the fire alarm at least once. Several notable days it’d go off 5 minutes into class, we’d go outside, they’d sound the all clear, and five minutes later it’d happen again. Rinse, repeat. It was irritating, spending all that money for college and then having my money burned by their juvenile behavior. Nope, it’d just be me, in my skivvies, with a cup of coffee or tea, and a lap full of cat. =) Sounds delicious! Anyway, can’t do anything yet… need to replace the computer first, but at this point anything looks good. So as soon as we can replace the computer, I’m applying for financial aid both through the school and the government so I can hopefully get my education back on track.

I just need to keep focusing on getting into school, keep my hopes up… something’s gotta break soon. It’s has to.

[mood : artistic]

Well, the whole deal with the Bent Lounge went better than I thought it would. Nice for a change.

Anyway, the real reason for this post is that I got a little crafty. We can’t really do anything right now, thanks to an ice storm that’s going through. So… I finally decided to sit down and learn how to make a Photoshop / Paint Shop Pro brush.

I started going through Sally’s junk photos… stuff she can’t really use, due to the angle, too blurry, or simply bizarre content that really wouldn’t do good in a frame.

I ended up choosing a picture of hers that featured a bunch of snail shells sitting on top of a wooden pylon at a lake a friend of our’s lives on. The top was left raw and had done quite a lot of cracking and splitting, resulting in a really interesting play of shadows.

The result was Shadow Writ.

What I did was select only the shadows and put them into brush form. They’re not big, by any means, the biggest is only about 255 pixels square. But, they do create these really cool forms. Looked almost like some weird writing to me. *grin* Unfortunately, she only had two photos of the pylon, so I couldn’t get many different configurations out of it.

But I’m proud. =)